There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical. After serving his company loyally for over 30 years, he happily retired. Several years later the company contacted him regarding a seemingly impossible problem they were having with one of their multi-million dollar machines. They had tried everything and everyone else to get the machine to work but to no avail.
In desperation, they called on the retired engineer who had solved so many of their problems in the past. The engineer reluctantly took the challenge. He spent a day studying the huge machine. Finally, at the end of the day, he marked a small "x" in chalk on a particular component of the machine and said, "This is where your problem is." The part was replaced and the machine worked perfectly again. The company received a bill for $50,000 from the engineer for his service. They demanded an itemized accounting of his charges.
The engineer responded briefly: One chalk mark $1; Knowing where to put it $49,999.
Types of Engineering
Just The Facts
- Engineering involves a lot more explosions than Mythbusters would lead you to believe.
- Not all engineers are weird and dorky. A LOT of them are, but not all of them.
- Mechanical Engineers are the sexiest and best of the engineering disciplines.
- The word engineer comes from a Latin word meaning ‘cleverness’.
- All electrical devices need a mechanical design to function.
- Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems.
- The working time for engineer is from morning to eternity.
- Engineer can have Doctor title (Dr.) in front of his name, while Doctor cannot get Engineer title (Ing.) in front of their names.
As you probably don't know, there are lot of different types of engineers out there in the world. Some of them are pure evil (Electrical engineers) and some of them are pretty much the epitome of awesomeness (Mechanical Engineers). Here's a sampling of some of the many different fields.
Chemical engineering mostly involves mixing up some crazy chemicals and making explosions. Sometimes it involves brewing. Depending on the engineer, they can use their expertise for good (BOOZE) or evil (non alcoholic beer).
Civil Engineering
Civil engineers create better bridges, and more infuriating ways to give you traffic jams. Seriously, why else would you have ten roads converging into one giant roundabout? How does that make sense?
Civil engineers create better bridges, and more infuriating ways to give you traffic jams. Seriously, why else would you have ten roads converging into one giant roundabout? How does that make sense?
Electrical Engineering
Don't ever call an electrical engineer an electrician. They get super pissed, and then your TV doesn't work for a week, and your door knob is electrified but you keep on trying to turn it because IT'S YOUR HOUSE DAMNIT, and then you miss your show but the tv doesn't work, and you yell and yell and yell and some asshole is laughing far away via a webcam, but then you call the police and they're all "BLAH BLAH NO PROOF" so you sleep with one eye open for the rest of your life.
Don't ever call an electrical engineer an electrician. They get super pissed, and then your TV doesn't work for a week, and your door knob is electrified but you keep on trying to turn it because IT'S YOUR HOUSE DAMNIT, and then you miss your show but the tv doesn't work, and you yell and yell and yell and some asshole is laughing far away via a webcam, but then you call the police and they're all "BLAH BLAH NO PROOF" so you sleep with one eye open for the rest of your life.
Seriously, those fuckers are crazy.
Pictured: Typical Electrical Engineer. Not Pictured: Sanity.
Mechanical Engineering
Mechanical Engineers are pretty much the best engineers in the world. They are by far the most interesting, and it is a wide discipline. Aerospace? MAKING PLANES. Better engines? DONE. Vacuum Technology? Sure, why not. Essentially, all the other engineers look up to mechanical engineers. That is not a completely or utterly biased opinion at all.
Mechanical Engineers are pretty much the best engineers in the world. They are by far the most interesting, and it is a wide discipline. Aerospace? MAKING PLANES. Better engines? DONE. Vacuum Technology? Sure, why not. Essentially, all the other engineers look up to mechanical engineers. That is not a completely or utterly biased opinion at all.
Mechanical Engineers are the James Bond's of engineering, only sexier.
No comments:
Post a Comment